Sunday, October 9, 2011

A pseudo-history of alphabetical characters.

A pseudo-history of alphabetical characters. These are naivist, intuitive pictographic theories of whence ouralphabet got into the shape it's in today, based on whattoday's letters look like. Try your head at imaginingpseudo-credible origins for them, freely allowing anachronisms. Withluck, you won't get arrested for it. And with my examples asstandards, you can't possibly embarrass yourself. Or try serifletters for a totally different set of depictures.pictogram what it depicts root word (If more than one, authorities diagree.) A Jane Fonda video exercise Athleticism, Arse-up position, rear view B Dolly. Parton, top view Bust, Breasts, Bra, Bosom, Boobs, Bazooms C a-worm trying to swallow Curl, Can't-.reach! its own tail (see 0) D half an empty capsule Drugs E three blind mice running Eyeless, Errant, up against a wall triple Embarrassment F figure skater in a one-leg spin, Figure (it out) head and arms back G profile of man with a beard or Goatee, Gurgle slobbering baby H erect intercourse, Hold-up-there! highly diagrammatic I naughty French postcard of same, Indecent side view J umbrella in extreme wind Jerk-off K cardboard box of water Kismet vs. Karma after the bottom gives (competing philosophies re it) L same, a little later Leaking-complete M anorexic at are- ob-gyn exam Malnutrition N chest and left arm of same, Nothingness flexing muscles at us O map of the globe Oceanworld, Omigod, after total- ice melt Ouroboros P same, pointing to where Queenslandocean, Quit! Australia used to be Q pissing into the wind Peeing-in-one's-own- face R a matronly lady has Run-for-cover, lost her head Return-it-please S less than an 8 Severe, Six T drinking through a straw Tea (Tea thru a straw?? The latest fashion?) U Here's where the other half Unearthed, Ununited of that capsule went! V gorgeous gorge Valley, Vagina, Vertigo W A giant wabbit is about to Wabbit, Walrus grab you from overhead. (in-case it-isn't- a-wabbit-after-all) X a menage a quatre X-rated Y "the-end is near-!" Yay Yoni, or Yelp triumph or agony Z zigzag Zigzag ANIL Perth, Australia

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