Kickshaws.

Kickshaws. A HELL OF A TEST When my son Danny took the ACT test, I wrote a poem about it andits evil twin, the SAT test. SAT, of course, is an abbreviation forSatan. I've recited this poem several times to different groups.The SAT building is located in Iowa City Iowa City,city (1990 pop. 59,738), seat of Johnson co., E Iowa, on both sides of the Iowa River; founded 1839 as the capital of Iowa Territory, inc. 1853. Among its manufactures are foam rubber, animal feed, paper, and food products. The city is the seat of the Univ. . I'm planning on doing aYouTube presentation of the poem in front of their sign this spring.It's a fun poem to read aloud. If you do it, try to sayBeelzebub's voice in a deep, Hellish accent. Do him justice. And asyou get toward the end, increase the volume of your dramatic, demonicreading. If you perform it loudly, your neighbors will call an exorcist ex��or��cism?n.1. The act, practice, or ceremony of exorcising.2. A formula used in exorcising.exor��cist n. .They'll think you are sick, sick, sicks (that's 666).Meanwhile, don't be too afraid. It's only a poem. It'sonly ahhhhhh! Took the ACT in Heaven And then when I got rested, Took the SAT down under, Where I was soon Hell-tested. Beelzebub stood before us. His desk was bright and fiery. He blazed behind it, cursing And looking mean and wiry. He said, "You take this paper And answer every queston. This test is tough as nails, So here is one suggestion. In Hell, you'd better listen And follow this old rule: In Hell, you cheat and copy From another tortured fool. If you answer just one question Incorrectly, you get crammed Into a tiny, hot box That says on top, 'You're damned!' The box keeps getting smaller For every answer wrong. But if you cheat the right way And copy all along And get the whole test right, You get a perfect score, And then you get a pitchfork, A tail, and, what's more, You get to torture others, You get to hear them squeal, You get to be like me, and You get to pray and kneel To Satan, Lord of Darkness, The brightest and the best Of all the devils anywhere: He wrote the goddamn test! HOMOPHONIC hom��o��phon��ic?adj.1. Having the same sound.2. Having or characterized by a single melodic line with accompaniment.[From Greek homoph REVERSALS TEAM UP WITH ANTONYMS Susan Thorpe combines sound and letter play to come up with somesound letter play. As she describes it: "When SEAL is pronounced inreverse it sounds like LEASE. The two words are homophonic reversals.Such reversals form one of the words in each of a pair of 2-wordphrases. The other two words in each of these are antonyms. In somecases the antonyms come first, in others they come second." Antonyms come first: on dole offload on edge off centre dry dock wet cod dry scale wet lakes home site away ties find ties lose sight sea sick land kiss first aid last day give slip take pills women teach men cheat undo sail tie lace begins tale ends late Antonyms come second: seal in Verb 1. seal in - close with or as if with a tight seal; "This vacuum pack locks in the flavor!"lock inconfine - prevent from leaving or from being removed lease out sketch in checks out butts in stub out Verb 1. stub out - extinguish by crushing; "stub out your cigar"crush out, press out, extinguishterminate, end - bring to an end or halt; "She ended their friendship when she found out that he had once been convicted of a crime"; "The attack on Poland come in muck out keys in seek out key in eke out eke outVerb[eking, eked]1. to make (a supply) last for a long time by using as little as possible2. sail in lays out keeps in speak out make up came down mark up calm down male cat lame dog tuck in cut out let on tell off tell on let off lays on sail off skate on takes off dials up slide down caught up talk down back 'went' (ouch!) cab came DOUBLE PLAY Here are two poems by Susan. The first has numeric elements, andthe second has palindromic pal��in��dro��micadj.Relapsing; recurring. endings. IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT Of many things, we have to buy more than one, But isn't this strange, when all's said and done? Restaurants offer a price to cover three courses, But I only want one, lacking inner resources. Some tables have three legs for support on the floor, So why do castors always come in packs of four? Boots, the chemist, offers three for the price of two, But you didn't even want it, so it's no use to you. Admittedly, in some cases, needs must we buy two, For what on earth would we do with a single shoe! NOT ETON Sometimes at exams I get in a fever, Especially when They include a viva! 'Tis hard in the fifth from, Through problems we plough. So why does each lesson End in a work row? I don't believe in cheating, I'm not into that con. It is not in my nature To 'nod' at a don. Some haven't the commitment, Always stopping for a 'cup', And when it comes to the crunch Those pupils slip up. I'm no good at sculpting, My tools fall apart. By the way, who invented What's known as trad art? Who's been vandalising, And where is the map? My atlas is in tatters, Yet one more page gap. The school team tries hard, They're not easily beaten But, in spite of all this, They're definitely not Eton! MEDIA QUIZ QUESTIONS On "The Price is Right," Monte Hall challenged a memberof the audience: "If you can say the alphabet from Z to A backwardsin less than a minute, you'll win $100." The man made hisattempt, but he didn't win. On a radio program in the 1960s, there was a quiz with a car forthe prize. It stayed on the air for awhile before someone got thecorrect answer. The radio played two gunshots, followed by thisconversation between two tough-sounding guys: "I just robbed abank." "So did I, but I was well-dressed." The questionis, "What city are they referring to?" Would you have won theprize in each case? COUNT IT IN Steve Kahan has discovered a new word for the AGAMEMNON category:"I used to think think that AGAMEMNON was the only dictionary entry Noun 1. dictionary entry - the entry in a dictionary of information about a wordlexical entryheadword - a word placed at the beginning of a line or paragraph (as in a dictionary entry) that contained three conscutive palindromic triads, but not so. Irecently happened upon another--GOOGOLPLEXES." REMOVABLE LIMERICK PUZZLE Doug Harris, a collector of limerick books and articles, haswritten a limerick duo involving letterplay in a way that I don'tbelieve has ever been done before: "The idea is to find anine-letter word that may have a single letter removed at each of theeight stages yet still remain a common word in the Englishlanguage English language,member of the West Germanic group of the Germanic subfamily of the Indo-European family of languages (see Germanic languages). Spoken by about 470 million people throughout the world, English is the official language of about 45 nations. ." Can you figure out the word?First, start with a T to remove,Then L we no longer approve. Pluck an A, then an R, One more T can go far,Now we're really well into the groove.Next G is the fellow to drop,With S quickly getting the chop. Ditch penultimate N, Unbelievably thenOnly I remain cream of the crop. THE ANAGRAM anagram[Gr.,=something read backward], rearrangement of the letters of a word or words to make another word or other words. A famous Latin anagram was an answer made out of a question asked by Pilate. EXPRESS While I was putting together the Anagram Calendar (elsewhere inthis issue), I naturally drifted off into another area worthtransposing. Can you figure out what class of things the following 19anagrams represent? And can you anagram each back to the original? 1. Hoot, elf! 2. I am cheating. 3. Her sighs, epithets. 4. She tempers. 5. Temper, hero. 6. Hint, heart, hope. 7. He revolts. 8. Hit race hot! 9. Tether him. 10. When off to rule thee. 11. Nth grets 12. Ice juts. 13. Hang, damn thee! 14. The D.A. 15. Pert menace. 16. The lived. 17. There, wot wot?v.First and third person singular present tense of wit2.[Middle English wat, from Old English w ! 18. The arts. 19. One moth. 20. Then us. 21. Me tend the jug? 22. Lord, thew thew?n.1. A well-developed sinew or muscle.2. Muscular power or strength. Often used in the plural.[Middle English, individual habit, virtue, strength . TRIANGULAR STANDSTILLS Jeremy Morse Sir Christopher Jeremy Morse (* December 10 1928[1]), known as Sir Jeremy Morse, was Chancellor of Bristol University between 1989 and 2003 before being succeeded by the Baroness Hale of Richmond[2] and was chairman of Lloyds Bank[3]. has found two new logologieal forms. They involve thealphabetic values (A=I, B = 2, ... Z = 26) of adjacent letters in aword. In some cases, consecutive alphabetic values are added together.Jeremy describes the forms: "Susan Throope's 'TriangularProgressions' in the last Word Ways made the think of triangularstandstills, like TOECAP (20, 20, 20) [T=20, OE=15+5=20, CAP=3+1+16=20]and triangular regressions, like UNCAGE (21, 17, 13). These would beharder to extend to ten letters than the progressions; but REMEDIABLE re��me��di��a��ble?adj.Possible to remedy: remediable problems.re��me isa near-standstill (18, 18, 18, 20), and a coined one would beWREN-DECKED (23, 23, 23, 23) (cf. Edmund Blunden's 'wrennestedhedges')." Can you find other examples? Checking out thenumber names Different cultures have different traditional numeral systems used for writing numbers and for naming large numbers.Although a majority of traditional number systems are based on the decimal numeral system, there are many regional variations even within decimal, including: , I found that THREE is the first "biangularstandstill": 28, 28 (TH=28, REE=28)--DM. PALINDROMIC COMPANY NAME Darryl Francis has "just spotted CELL-LEC on a van. Checked itout via Google, and it seems to be the name of companies in Swansea(Wales) and Lincoln (England). RELIABLE SOURCES Bill Brandt Disambiguation: you may be looking for Willy Brandt for the former Chancellor of West Germany Bill Brandt (May 3, 1904 – December 20, 1983) was an influential British photographer and photojournalist known for his high-contrast images of British writes: "The news is usually full of items fromanonymous but reliable sources that usually add a "spin" towhat ever is being said. Often this contains half a grain of truth andis generally done to discredit someone. With that in mind, here istoday's Nursery Rhyme nursery rhymeVerse customarily told or sung to small children. Though the oral tradition of nursery rhymes is ancient, the largest number date from the 16th, 17th, and (most frequently) 18th centuries. "news" (from reliablesources)."Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.Reliable sources say Dumpty is not all that he is cracked up to be.Little Be-Peep has lost her sheep and can't tell where to find them.Reliable sources say Be-Peep is now on the lamb.Hey diddle, diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon.Reliable sources say the cat diddled while the cow took a life threatening jump.There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, she had so many children she didn't know what to do.Reliable sources say she won't reveal who the heel is.Old King Cole was a merry old soul.Reliable sources say the old soul was also a heel.Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son John, went to bed with his trousers on.Reliable sources say John was out drinking earlier that night.Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater, had a wife and couldn't keep her.Reliable sources say Peter kidnapped his estranged wife and is holding her in the pumpkin patch.Mistress Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow.Reliable sources say Mary has started to go to seed.Little Boy Blue, come blow your hem, the sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the com.Reliable sources say Boy Blue recently left the farm for a gig in New Orleans.Hickory, Dickory, Dock, the mouse ran up the clock.Reliable sources say most folks thought this was a coo-coo idea.George Porgie, pudding and pie, kissed the girls and made them cry.Reliable sources say George was later apprehended and arrested on a miss-demeanor charge.Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jump over the candlestick.Reliable sources say Jack was later admitted to the bum unit at the hospital.Little Jack Homer sat in the comer eating his Christmas pie.Reliable sources say Jack felt it would be a plum assignment.Wee Willie Winkie runs though the town, upstairs and downstairs, in his nightgown.Reliable sources say after a late night argument his wife threw him out of the house.Tom, Tom, the Piper's son, stole a pig and away did run.Reliable sources say Tom claimed he was only trying to bring home the bacon.Simple Simon met a pieman going to the fair.Reliable sources say he was actually a baker and that Simon wanted to have his cake and eat it too.Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone.Reliable sources say, and make no bones about it, Ms. Hubbard fed her cat first. NOUVEAU URBAN TRIBES Bill notes that "On the Travel Channel there is a programshowing two guys (Mark and Oily) living for extended times with losttribes in remote areas. They have lived with the Mek in West Papua West Papua:see Papua. , theKombai in Indonesia, and the Machigenga in Peru. When they go there theylive in the local environment, have to survive the local traditions, andhave to learn the necessary skills for survival. I would like to seethem also try living with some of the recently discovered urban tribes,such as the; Bamboozlers--live in nomadic See nomadic computing. bands; have a tradition of findingways to milk trusting individuals of their money; living with them youneed to learn how to be a smooth talker and to set up Ponzi schemes; thecommon greeting is "Never give a sucker an even break." Chimychongas--live in small villages south of the border; have atradition of eating jalapenos; when living with them you need to learnhow to wrap all your food in taco shells; the common greeting is"Chili today, hot tamale." Dillydallies--generally found living in large bureaucracies; have atradition of engaging in generally non-productive activities; livingwith them you need to learn how to procrastinate pro��cras��ti��nate?v. pro��cras��ti��nat��ed, pro��cras��ti��nat��ing, pro��cras��ti��natesv.intr.To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.v.tr. and delay makingdecisions; the common greeting is "I'm not finished yet." Fuddyduddies--found in homes with plastic seat covers on thefurniture; have a tradition of wearing suspenders and spats; living withthem you need to learn how to use a rotary telephone; the commongreeting is "Care for a game of tiddlywinks?" Gitchigoomies--located in small villages in the Adirondacks; have atradition of eating wild game; living with them you need to learn how tomake birch-bark canoes; the common greeting is "Hi ya", as in"Hi ya watha!" Hankypankies--generally found roaming through backwater hotels ingroups of two; have a tradition of using false names; living with themyou need to know how to be discreet; the common greeting is "Yourroom or mine?" Higgledypiggledies--live in a state of confusion ; have a traditionof never putting things back where they belong; living with them youneed to be able to find things by looking through multiple piles ofjumbled stuff; a common greeting is "Has anyone seen my carkeys?" Hootchiecootchies--live in big city low rent apartments; have atradition of dancing in burlesque burlesque(bûrlĕsk`)[Ital.,=mockery], form of entertainment differing from comedy or farce in that it achieves its effects through caricature, ridicule, and distortion. It differs from satire in that it is devoid of any ethical element. shows; living with them you have tolearn how to dance on the stage with a feather boa; the common greetingis "Hello there handsome." Hoitytoities--usually found living in penthouse apartments; have atradition of talking only to people in their own social circle; livingwith them you need to know how to talk about the little people (such as"paying taxes is only for the little people"); the commongreeting is "Meet you at the club." Mumbojumbos--can be found living in and around an area called WallStreet; have a tradition on pontificating about why the market went upor down yesterday; living with them you need to learn the language ofderivatives, hedge funds, and soy bean futures; the common greeting is"Have you seen the market did?" Snollygosters--usually found living in capital cities; have atradition of discrediting and smearing rival candidates; living withthem you need to know how to raise campaign funds from lobbyists and todraft pork barrel pork barreln. SlangA government project or appropriation that yields jobs or other benefits to a specific locale and patronage opportunities to its political representative. earmarks; the common greeting is "Let'sreserve a government plane for a fact finding trip to Vegas.' Topsyturvies--live in a place called down under; have a traditionof falling head over heals in love; living with them you need to learnhow to make a pineapple upside down cake; the common greeting is"Bottoms up!" POEMS BY LOUIS PHILLIPS AN EX-HUSBAND CONSIDERS THE HIGH COST OF ALIMONY Ex pensive? Expensive. T.S. ELIOT AT A TRAIN STATION AWAITING THE ARRIVAL OF THE MAN WHO WROTE "01' '55" (THE SONG SIMON SCHAMA CALLED "THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LOVE SONG SINCE GERSHWIN AND COLE PORTER SHUT THEIR PIANO LIDS), WHILE THE SONGWRITER LINGERS TO GET A PACKAGE FROM HIS HEALTH CLUB Tom waits For Tom Waits While Waits Waits For weights. .AND A SMALL BOWL OF LOUIS'S APPLESAUCE CHRONICLES A sentence with 4 WILLS in a row: Shall I ask British author William Trevor William Trevor, KBE (born May 24 1928) is an Irish short story writer, novelist and playwright. BiographyBorn William Trevor Cox in Mitchelstown, County Cork, Irish Free State to a middle-class Protestant family, he moved several times to other provincial towns about the author WillSelf?. Yes, I will -- Will, will Will Self come to my book signingparty? ** Agnew knew Nu's new newel-posts were expensive to install. ** nghti -- night shift. ** Sue sez Suez Is old hat. That's that. ** Robinson Caruso--novel about an opera singer stranded on a desertisland. ** What do you call 007 after a sex change operation? Dames Bond. ** A penny saved is a penny earned--to coin a phrase. ** Photographers have negative attitudes. ** POSU POSU P?le Sp��cialis�� d'Accueil et de Traitement des Urgences(French)POSU Private Oil Sector Union (Kuwait)= soup mix "Do you knw Andy Warhol Noun 1. Andy Warhol - United States artist who was a leader of the Pop Art movement (1930-1987)Warhol ?" "No, but my Pop, Art,does." ** TYRANNOTHESAURUS--the dinosaur that specialized in synonyms ** STAMP OUT PHILATELY philately(fĭlăt`əlē), collection and study of postage stamps and of materials relating to their history and use. Collecting stamps began soon after the first postage stamp was issued in 1840; the first printed catalog was issued in ! ** Was Picasso over-drawn at his bank? ** Baby's favorite poet--Pablum Neruda LANGUAGE MATTERS Language does matter. It's not just a matter of opinion,either. It's a matter of fact that language does matter. Sowhat's the matter with the following quirks of language. It mattersto Louis Phillips, and it matters to me. Here's the matterwe're talking about: 1. Why is unlimited limited to 9 letters? 2. If misspelled is spelled correctly isn't it stillmisspelled? 3. Have you noticed that upside down is usually not seen upsidedown but is viewed fightside up? 4. Four contains 4 letters, and is the only English word whosenumber of letters corresponds to that number. Does that make four odd? 5. If backwards is written backwards, is it still backwards? 6. The fifth word is fourth in this sentence. 7. In is complete; incomplete is complete; unfortunately, completis incomplete. 8. ugly is as beautiful as any other word. [I beg to is an elliptical expression for I beg leave to; as, I beg to inform you s>.See also: Beg disagree with Verb 1. disagree with - not be very easily digestible; "Spicy food disagrees with some people"hurt - give trouble or pain to; "This exercise will hurt your back" that. Ugly is ugly. Any other word is just any other word.--DM] 9. If you say there are 6 letters in accurate are you inaccurate oraccurate OXYMORONS MATTER, TOO Here are a cluster of oxymorons by Ove Michaelsen. A friend ofmine, on hearing the word for the first time, said, "Oxymorons makeoxes look like morons." Hmm. Here are a baker's dozen thirteen.thirteen; - called also a long dozen ltname>.See also: Baker Dozen ofOve's: Berkeley, California: Any NORMAL person would be NUTS to move here. (1978) [Author Ursula K. LeGuin later wrote, "What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?"] Socializing is my least favorite form of solitude. We're dumbing down from the bottom up. Incompetence, all the way down to the top. When I said I'm a liar, I wasn't being truthful. They wouldn't know subtlety if it clubbed them. The store had nothing, and at twice the price. For me, feeling good is not conducive to creativity. It's depressing. "Paradise" would kill me with boredom. Imagine having to diefor it. for it. Talk about a living hell. If you're going to write badly, do it well. I prefer my women in the singular. Someone should inform the public of my fame. But seriously, this is all in fun. FIVE THINGS WE'LL NEVER HEAR, AS HEARD BUY OVE Man, do I enjoy headaches! Husband to wife: "Here, you take the remote--I'm off toclean the bathroom. A husband's housework in never done. He never DOES it. You know, I could really use another hole in the head. Argh! MY FINGER'S in my eye." TWO TINY INTERNET PALINDROMES I wrote these after a friend of mine told me, "AOL (A division of Time Warner, Inc., New York, NY, www.aol.com) The world's largest online information service with access to the Internet, e-mail, chat rooms and a variety of databases and services. IS thevirus." H'e urging me to get onto his server, Yahoo, or anyother server, but for reasons unbeknownst to me, I'm sticking withAOL. So I wrote those two palindromes to deal with the issue. Load AOL. Ooh, a Yahoo! TO NIGERIA, WITH LOVE I received an email from a gentleman with whom I'd nevercorresponded before. In his message, he promised to give me a fortune. Iwrote a message back and sent it to him, but I haven't heard fromhim yet. Here is his original email and my reply. Senator Tunde Ogbeha Chairman Foriegn payment Release. Federal Republic of Benin. Good Day! I have been waiting for you since to come down here and pick yourCashiers Cheque but did not hear from you since that time. So i went tothe bank to confirm if the draft is getting close to expire and theManager of the bank told me that before the draft will get to youraddress that it will expire. Then i told him to help me and cash thebank draft of $2.8 million united states United States,officially United States of America, republic (2005 est. pop. 295,734,000), 3,539,227 sq mi (9,166,598 sq km), North America. The United States is the world's third largest country in population and the fourth largest country in area. dollars to cash payment.However, i have successfully cashed the draft and packaged your Cash ina Cargo box and had registered it in the PARCEL EXPRESS DIPLOMATICCOMPANY here in Benin Republic because i will travel soon to see my bossand will not come back soon. You have to contact the PARCEL EXPRESS COMPANY to know when theywill deliver your package to your address. I have paid for thedelivering charges and insurance fees. The only money you have to sendto them is their SECURITY KEEPING FEE to receive your package and as ido not know when you will be contacting them. HERE IS PARCEL EXPRESS DIPLOMATIC COMPANY ADDRESS BELOW/ NAME: DRARNOLD AKA E-MAIL: (px_diplomatic@yahoo.fr) TEL TEL TelephoneTEL TelegramTEL Telugu (langauge)TEL Terrorist Exclusion ListTEL Technology-Enhanced LearningTEL Transporter-Erector-LauncherTEL Tetra-Ethyl LeadTEL Team Deutsche Telekom : +22993151061/FAX :+22997250995 Please, Send them your contacts information to able them locate youimmediately they arrived in your country with your BOX. This is the information they need from you. 1. YOUR FULL NAME. 2. YOUR HOME ADDRESS. 3. YOUR CURRENT MOBILE NUMBER. 4. COPY OF ID/DRIVERS LICENCE OR PASSPORT. Do let me know as soon as you received your package. *** Dear Senator Ogbeha, Tunde, my friend, I thought we were supposed to meet in Berlin, notBenin. I was there in Berlin at the appointed time. When you didn'tshow up, I became worried that you might have been assassinated. What arelief it is to know that you're still alive. Your use of the small"i" instead of the capital 'T' to refer to yourselfin your email is a charming way of showing that you are a humble, honestgentleman. If you can wait patiently, as you have been, for me to pickup the $2.8 million dollars that I lent you to help finance theoverthrow of the previous regime, I will fly there in my Lear Jet nextFriday Next Friday is the 2000 sequel to Friday , which depicts the neighborhood of South Los Angeles in a comedic sense. The hero, Craig Jones (Ice Cube), leaves home and moves in with his lottery winning and sex-crazed Uncle Elroy (Don "D.C." Curry) in Rancho Cucamonga. , and I will reward you with half of that money for your trouble.That's $1.4 million! Of course, I would happily pay the SECURITYKEEPING FEE, but since I don't have the correct change fight now,could you give me your bank account number, password, and home address?I will then withdraw the amount of the fee and pay the company. Whenthat's done, I will open the package and take half of the money outand mail it to you as a bonus. No need to meet me in Benin or Berlin.I'll just send it to your home address in a Cargo box marked"Terrorist Bomb: Please Handle Carefully." The authoritieswill never suspect that the box has $1.4 million American dollars in it. Is Dr Arnold Aka still performing those experimental operations onindigent indigent1) n. a person so poor and needy that he/she cannot provide the necessities of life (food, clothing, decent shelter) for himself/herself. 2) n. one without sufficient income to afford a lawyer for defense in a criminal case. people in your country for his very reasonable payments? I wasespecially impressed by the leg graft. I never dreamed that a man couldbe given a third leg to replace his genitals. That guy will win theBoston Marathon Boston marathonfamous 26-mile race held annually for long-distance runners. [Am. Pop. Culture: Misc.]See : Endurance hands down. I'll bet Amie learned a lot from hisgrandfather's work as a doktor in Germany during World War II.That's probably why I got "Berlin" mixed up with"Benin." By the way, how's the wife and little Tunde, Jr.? Please tellher I enjoyed our menage a trois the last time we were together. She andher twin sister were incredibly acrobatic, but that huge bed was hardlybig enough for the three of us. Your wife kept falling off. Her sisterflew off a few times. I bounced off once at the very end. Perhaps it wasthe cocaine. Sorry you couldn't make it. Maybe next time, my dearfriend. THE VENI-VIDI-ETC-COLLECTION One of the more unusual websites around has the address thatfollows: http://havemacwillblog.com/2009/02/24/twitter-tweets-the-veni-vidi-etc-collection/The site parodies the phraseVeni-Vidi-Vici by replacing "Vici" with another word and then"translating it" into English. The Veni, Vidi, Etc ... Collection Veni, vidi, cc--I came, I saw, I sent an email. Veni, vidi, visa--I came, I saw, I did a little shopping. Veni, vidi, villa--I came, I saw, I rented a holiday home.(radioproducerl) Veni, vidi, wiki--I came, I saw, I wrote a learned essay withfootnotes and cross-references. Veni, vidi, vamoosy!--I came, I saw, I legged it! (Intellagirl) Veni, vidi, Gucci--I came, I saw, I bought a handbag. Veni, vidi, Vichy--I came, I saw, I sold out to the Nazis.(bigshotprof) Veni, vidi, VP--I came I saw, I got promoted. Veni, vidi, vasssssuupppp? I came, I saw, I failed to realisticallyimitate a gangsta-rappa. (royblumenthal) Veni, vidi, veto--I came, I saw, I put a stop to it. Veni, vidi, dormi--I came, I saw, I nodded off. (homsolo) Veni, vidi, Vista--I came, I saw, I went back to using Windows XP. Veni, vidi, veggie--I came, I saw, I had some salad.(radioproducerl) Veni, vidi, valium--I came, I saw, I got stressed out. Vidi, veni, VD--Uh, I regretted it. (kmcguirk) Veni, vidi, vino--I came, I saw, I got plastere Veni, vidi, vicodin--I came, I saw, I drifted away. Veni, vidi, tikki--I came, I saw, my life was wrecked by an ancientHawaiin curse due to a washed up idol I wore. (WoWNoob) Veni, vidi, twitti--I came, I saw, I bored everyone to death withendless tweets about it. If any readers are inspired by this, please send some Veni, Vidi,Vici parodies. As I write this, I would suggest: Veni, vidi,va-va-voom!--I came, I saw, I couldn't believe my eyes! VENI, VIDI, LIMERICK Ove Michaelsen pointed out the website to me, and he wrote alimerick to help immortalize im��mor��tal��ize?tr.v. im��mor��tal��ized, im��mor��tal��iz��ing, im��mor��tal��iz��esTo make immortal.im��mor it. Ove's limerick follows: An opinion is just someone's word. I've been careful with rumors I've heard, Then witnessed a fact With context intact. I came, I saw, I concurred. ANSWERS AND SOLUTIONS *** MEDIA QUIZ QUESTIONS: (1) If you said Z, Y, X ... A,you're wrong. That's the alphabet backwards alright, but Montewas asking for the alphabet going from Z to A backwards, which means youwould start from A and go to Z--the alphabet in its regular order. (2)Bank-robbing is a sin, and being well-dressed is natty. The answer isSin Sin Natty. *** ANAGRAM EXPRESS: These are anagrams of the names of the Tarot tarotSets of cards used in fortune-telling and in certain card games. The origins of tarot cards are obscure; cards approximating their present form first appeared in Italy and France in the late 14th century. cards in the Major Arcana: 1. The Fool. 2. The Magician. 3. The HighPriestess. 4. The Empress. 5. The Emperor. 6. The Hierophant hierophantChief priest of the Eleusinian Mysteries in ancient Greece. His main task was to display the sacred objects during the celebration of the mysteries and explain their secret meaning to initiates. . 7. TheLovers. 8. The Chariot. 9. The Hermit hermit[Gr.,=desert], one who lives in solitude, especially from ascetic motives. Hermits are known in many cultures. Permanent solitude was common in ancient Christian asceticism; St. Anthony of Egypt and St. Simeon Stylites were noted hermits. . 10. The Wheel of Fortune. 11.Strength. 12. Justice. 13. The Hanged Man. 14. Death. 15. Temperance.16. The Devil. 17. The Tower. 18. The Star. 19. The Moon. 20. The Sun.21. Judgement. 22. The World. The most difficult was STRENGTHS = NTHGRETS. "Grets" is defined on the web in The Urban Dictionaryas "it is short for cigarettes."